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| image by Mostafa Habibi |
I waited for the perfect day
to set out on the seas
for winds that blew just hard enough
to make a gentle breeze
The sun, the clouds, they had to be
up in the Heavens so
as to create the setting for
my dream seaside tableau
My boat, she waited in the sea
for that auspicious time
and I was buried in the sand
for I could not leave home.
submitted for Magpie Tales 95
and Sunday Mini Challenge, A Classic Hit (ballad ala Emily Dickinson), at Imaginary Garden With Real Toads
17 comments:
I like the unexpected twist in the final lines.. You told your tale most effectively in this form.
felt...we have to make some tough choices at times...to kill the dream or pursue it based on our connections...i hope in those moments we make the right decisions
I like the life lesson! not fun; but true analogy
thanks!
Wanting something, and going for it, very hard decisions at times. Perfect take on the picture.
I loved this until the last line, then I just stared at the page, somewhat bemused. It rolls of the tongue as I read it, great rhythm and timing, then just seemed to fall flat.
My boat she waited in the sea,
For that auspicious day,
As I was buried in the sand
And could not get away.
Would that work? It also mirrors the title as well I think.
Just a suggestion. Otherwise, I really do like this and would hate this to be taken the wrong way.
Boy I hate that. A perfect chance gone. Pfui.
Wow. This was great!
and I was buried in the sand
for I could not leave home
Not everybody is stricken by wanderlust! ♥
Waiting for that perfect moment that never comes...guilty as charged!
Excellent -- rhyme, meter, the works...
Sometimes we can dream fantastic adventures, but there's nothing quite like taking the plunge, for real.
I know this. :) Excellent.
Nicely written! I think we both had a similar ideas...
And you don't tell us how you got to be like that or what happened next. Quite right. Brilliant!
Waiting for all to line up perfectly--doesn't always work out does it.
A sort of hopeless resignation in this, but still tinged with the desire for things to be different...I liked that combination.
Excellent write!
Anna :o}
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