Poetry is just the evidence of life. If your life is burning well, poetry is just the ash. Leonard Cohen

Monday, February 28, 2011

Does This Cape Make My Butt Look Fat?

You've heard of the Hulk and the Fantastic Four
The Norse God of Thunder with hammer is Thor 
Superman's strong, and he flies - what a bore!
We hormonally challenged women need more!

We need a hero to fight for our needs
One who is tough and who never concedes
Ladies, my efforts may just be last ditch
But I bring you our new hero now:  SUPERBITCH!!!

I am no Batman, I don't wear a cape
In sweatpants and robe I will make my escape
There had best be a phone booth to which I can dash
To rip it all off when I get a hot flash!

Iron Man's hands can shoot rays through bad guys
When I'm angry, I shoot rays right out of my eyes!
My glare is more scary than you've ever felt
And I have a scowl to make Iron Man melt!

Spiderman may climb the walls to attack
But SUPERBITCH will climb all over your back
Aquaman swims and can hold his own breath
But I will hormonally rant you to death!

So bad guys, villains, jackwagons, take heed!
Before you engage in that next irksome deed
There's a new superhero, I'll say it again
Her name's SUPERBITCH, and she needs estrogen!

submitted for Poetry Potluck, Week 24


Anonymous said...

AHAHA! First the title made me smile. Then I go each lines laughing louder! Then I let out a super roar! You rock SuperB-Itch!

Bryan White said...

Oh, isn't that mouse cute in her robe?

Maggie said...

LOL. I was once the Superbitch.

There will be a day when you pass the baton. Until then, kick some ass.

Loved this!

Anonymous said...

This was quite interesting! :) I was never into cartoons and the whole bit, it is interesting reading about all these characters, thank you :)

Anonymous said...

I love you Superbitch! This is awesome. And the headline is fantastic. Thank you for your contribution to Potluck!!

Anonymous said...

This is absolutely priceless. One of the best, if not the best, midlife humor poems I've read. Go Superbitch!

Brian Miller said...

hahaha...i think i know her...

Linda Bob Grifins Korbetis Hall said...

fun, brave, and cute imagery...

love your take.
keep it up.

Dr. McCoy said...

Superbitch, you're my hero! *sigh*

Reggie said...

I have to say...this is cute...

Anonymous said...

LOL This was freakin GREAT! :-D Definitely my favorite from this week's potluck so far!

Anonymous said...

LOL, you're my No.1 superhero now!
it would be nice to see a female hero who didn't have big boobs!


Olivia said...

Oh yeah!!!!!

Incase you need to show up at two places, letme know, I'll fill in for you!

Read Jessica's comment, LOLss, I need to go on a diet then.. haha

Very beautifully crafted.. highly realistic n yet fun to read- but it's all true- yeah!!

Love xoxox


Anonymous said...

oh what a bitchy bitch bitch this is haha lola lola- your description made me smile! here's my potluck.. http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2009/11/29/cinderella-for-a-man/

Reflections said...

LOL... oh this is so perfect, but I think there is more than one, cloned maybe or an army of us.

Hyde Park Poetry Palace said...

welcome join poets rally week 39,

thanks for the time.
Happy Writing.
Hope to see you in.

Rachel Hoyt said...

Hahahahahaha. Priceless. I love it!!! :) You should join the superhero registery. Hehehe.

Real Life Superheroes