Poetry is just the evidence of life. If your life is burning well, poetry is just the ash. Leonard Cohen

Friday, May 31, 2013


(Image Via Photobucket: vivianandrea22)

Your heart is starved
I can see the hunger in your eyes
I can feel it even when they are closed

Desperate for connection,
you wander the world
like an exhausted passenger
seeking a seat on a full train

You search for the scent of kindness
underneath shuffling newspapers and coffee cups
and wonder why
everything you plant

You thought you were surrounded
by fertile ground,
but when you dig,
layer by layer you find clay and sand,
while the verdancy taunts you
from just over the fence
or around the next turn

you want to yield to the emptiness,
surrender to the isolation
and let your appetites
like a drop of ink
in the ocean.

Ponytail by Last Exit 


Brian Miller said...

you wander the world
like an exhausted passenger
seeking a seat on a full train...nice lines that...they make this really tangible...and accessible...the why everything you plant dies is an honest feeling as well...

brudberg said...

This is true loneliness ... leading up to the last stanza dissipating like ink in water... heartfelt

Susie Clevenger said...

Such a powerful picture of loneliness...the endig is chilling

Susie Clevenger said...

"ending" I can spell that...lol

hedgewitch said...

So true, and so frightening--I also thought the train line was a well-put, well-realized image. The closing image is dramatic, and just right.

Anonymous said...

This definitely creates a mood that reflects the pilgrim nature of our life here. Nicely depicted, lola.

Anonymous said...

Ah, so sad . Nicely done.

Hannah said...

This feeling of lone-ness and unsuccessful-ness midst so many who're seemingly experiencing the opposite...achingly rendered. I enjoy your closing idea and thinking on the ink... how even the smallest drop permeates.

Well done, Lola, thank you for writing!

kaykuala said...

Life and love can be that tedious! It's how we make it through with our own brand of excitements that matter!
Nicely Lola!


Margaret said...

So tense, really and then... wishing to be a drop of ink in the ocean... it all just gently loosens up. Hopefully not completely washed up, though. Nice tie in with the Magpie prompt.

kelvin s.m. said...

..hi lolamouse.. i like your name... i like to say it again and again... just too cute to ears... hehe... smiles... your poem's quite sad & rings truth... i can relate in so many accounts in life you've stated here... brilliantly conceived! smiles...

Kay L. Davies said...

That last stanza...oh, Ms Mouse...so much loneliness on this full train.

Kerry O'Connor said...

you wander the world
like an exhausted passenger
seeking a seat on a full train..

This is the way to work a simile.
I love your interpretation of this tunnel through the trees.

Marcoantonio Arellano (Nene) said...

I hold a ticket to that train, mi amiga.

I hearken the short moments where I recall the waft of the taunt from verdant fields

Gracias for sharing, mi amiga

Helen said...

.. 'like a drop of ink in the ocean'~ I love that line. You managed to incorporate very different challenges into one awesome poem.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

A poignant description. I love especially "you wander the world like an exhausted passenger seeking a seat on a full train". I feel just like that!!!! I feel for the person described!

gabrielle said...

The sense of mounting futility is palpable, the closing lines perfect in their surrender.

Fireblossom said...

And so Goddess invented chocolate...

Timoteo said...

...where do they all belong?

Pat Tillett said...

Sad, lonely and full of feeling.
Very nice...