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| image from Magpie Tales 54 |
Grief is a puzzle with the pieces askew
Another part missing each time you glance
You try to find meaning but don't have a clue
Trip over your own feet in this macabre dance.
Another part missing each time you glance
You try to believe but it doesn't seem true
Trip over your own feet in this macabre dance
Your love is dead and you want to die too.
You try to believe but it doesn't seem true
You walk through your life now as if in a trance
Your love is dead and you want to die too
You can't work this puzzle-there is no chance.
You walk through your life now as if in a trance
There's dust in your heart where once lush gardens grew
You can't work this puzzle-there is no chance
No longer a framework in which to hew.
There's dust in your heart where once lush gardens grew
You try to find meaning but don't have a clue
No longer a framework in which to hew
Grief is a puzzle with the pieces askew.
submitted for Mag 54
20 comments:
Very sad piece.
Grief truly is like a puzzle with many missing pieces.
This kind of grief is overwhelming .... one wonders if it is ever possible to overcome.
Yes grief feels like broken pieces, but eventually those pieces of life all fit again, sometimes it's the picture of the puzzle that changes.
Am I right..a Pantoum? One of my favorite forms..The repetition really works in a very hypnotic way..like this a lot!
capturing pain, any feeling in form poems is quite a tough game. You did it wonderfully.
trisha.
Loved the form in this poem, it worked really well, and very moving content.
Grief, when nothing seems to fit anymore. Nicely written piece.
Poetry24…where news is the Muse
wow, you captured that feeling perfectly!
wonderfully poignant possibly to the level of being a catharsis for someone.
Grief conveyed very well in this traditional form.
Oh, how true. Sadly so.
Grief is a puzzle and I am trying myself to work through the different pieces but somedays I just can't seem to find the edges.
This fits puzzle pieces well, beacause of the repetitions. How often do we pck up a piece before we find its correct reating place in the final picture?
So poignant. Perfect metaphor for grief.
(sigh)... it's so sad.. but so very true too...
It's very hard to find the right pieces of this macabre puzzle called life, when it is hit by grief...
So well written, Lola.. and I am totally awe-inspired by your rhyme scheme! I mean, you've used only TWO rhymes for the ENTIRE poem... that's like WOW!!!
Kudos on this excellent magpie, my friend!!
Kavita,
Thank you so much for your thoughtful and kind comments. I really appreciate it.
Pieced many a puzzle, too. Heartfelt 'pie!
smart piece.
It's a Pantoum!!!! Excellent use of the form. The repetition works really well here.
This is really beautiful. The rhythm and rhyming are perfect and the repetition really works well. Super-good writing!
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