Perhaps it was her uncanny feats of gymnastic
swordsmanship
without messing her hair or popping her corset
or perhaps it was only fortuitous pheromones
but the moment young Felix Francis Fussbudget V lay
eyes upon
the lovely lass Lady Ravendale
he was totally and eternally smitten.
The feeling was mutual.
Luck with with the lad, as Lady Ravendale’s beloved
pet tiger,
Aloysius Fishbreath, took an instant liking to Felix,
for previous suitors had found themselves shredded
like cabbage heads for a carnivorous coleslaw.
Mrs. Millicent Filomena Fussbudget, long suffering
wife of
the Grim and Righteous Reverend Felix Francis Fussbudget IV,
did not,
however, approve of the impending union.
“The girl is haughty and proud, naughty and loud,”
Mrs. Fussbudget decried.
“And she dresses herself like an armadillo!
Felix
will marry her over my dead body!”
That evening, the Somewhat Less Grim but still
Righteous
Reverend Felix Francis Fussbudget IV performed the marriage
of his
son Felix Francis Fussbudget V and the Lady Ravendale.
Their pet tiger, Aloysius Fishbreath, was the ring
bearer.
He was still licking his chops upon the altar.
