A New Spin on an Old Tale

Little Miss Muffet

climbed on her tuffet

to sit on a branch of an oak

With her curds and her whey

she watched butterflies play

when a spider dared give her a poke!

Little Miss Muffet

suffered a buffet

when she saw its four pairs of mean eyes

But she quick gained her wit

and before she got bit

gave the spider a bit of surprise!

Little Miss Muffet

told the spider to stuff it

when he tried to put her in his web

A lassoed arachnid

that does just what she bids

Makes Muffet a certain celeb!

submitted for Thursday Think Tank #103 Fractured Fairy Tales at Poets United

Don't Poke the Tiger (A Cautionary Tale [Tail?])

Lady Ravendale, a Steampunk Girl by DPI Studios

Perhaps it was her uncanny feats of gymnastic swordsmanship

without messing her hair or popping her corset

or perhaps it was only fortuitous pheromones

but the moment young Felix Francis Fussbudget V lay eyes upon 

the lovely lass Lady Ravendale

he was totally and eternally smitten.

The feeling was mutual.

Luck with with the lad, as Lady Ravendale’s beloved pet tiger, 

Aloysius Fishbreath, took an instant liking to Felix,

for previous suitors had found themselves shredded

like cabbage heads for a carnivorous coleslaw.

Mrs. Millicent Filomena Fussbudget, long suffering wife of 

the Grim and Righteous Reverend Felix Francis Fussbudget IV, 

did not, however, approve of the impending union.

“The girl is haughty and proud, naughty and loud,”

 Mrs. Fussbudget decried. 

“And she dresses herself like an armadillo!  

Felix will marry her over my dead body!”

That evening, the Somewhat Less Grim but still Righteous 

Reverend Felix Francis Fussbudget IV performed the marriage

 of his son Felix Francis Fussbudget V and the Lady Ravendale.

Their pet tiger, Aloysius Fishbreath, was the ring bearer.

He was still licking his chops upon the altar.

submitted for Imaginary Garden With Real Toads, Kerry's Wed. Challenge, Steampunk

Water Lilies

© Shanyn Silinski

Gather 'round and hear my story 

Though it's sad and filled with woe

'Bout a Fairy Princess on a 

hill and her love down below

Wizard king would not approve of 

mixing mortal blood with kin

Told his daughter that to love this 

man was nothing but a sin

Fairy Princess wept so hard

the skies they rained for days on end

and her love, he heard her wailing

vowed to go to her again

Upon entering the kingdom

he did find a fence so high

Wizard King had built it up to

reach the clouds within the sky

Come next morning an alarm

was sounded 'round the kingdom wide

Caught beneath the kingdom's fence

a man was found who'd drowned and died

No one ever knew if her love

drowned on going out or in

and the Fairy Princess in her 

grief was never seen again

She had turned them both to water

lilies floating in the pond

They'll forever be together

not in this world but beyond.

Submitted for Imaginary Garden With Real Toads, Open Link Monday

and dVerse Poets Pub, Open Link Night 36(because, as usual, I'm too late for Poetics, Once Upon a Time)

Where The Wild Things Are Not

image source

I went for a walk in the woods the other day

and found a large, white paper band across the trees

"Sanitized for your protection" it read

The trails had been swept free of mud and leaves

and were paved with astroturf

Insects had been eliminated and replaced

with cute googly eyed clay replicas

The trees were all trimmed and

the animals had been bathed and deodorized

Apparently too many lawsuits

over poison ivy rashes, animal bites, and twisted ankles

had nearly bankrupted the National Park Service

This way was much safer for everyone

I started to cry

and an animatronic chipmunk offered me a Kleenex

then pointed its tail toward a green trashcan
and hand sanitizer

Laughing, I tossed the Kleenex on the astroturf and left.

submitted for dVerse Poets Pub, dVerse Poetics, Wild

Ducks and Swans

image courtesy of Magpie Tales

I was never beautiful

Never swam with the swans

their soft feathers

graceful, white necks blooming with

bright pink buds of

boys' affections

Beautiful girls turned heads

I turned pages of books

My lovers were paper

vellum princes

who didn't mind if the princess was

too fat, too skinny, too, too, too

What if the ugly duckling 

never grew into a swan 

but into an ugly duck?

Would anyone love it then?

or would it be hung 

by its gangly neck

in the window of a Chinese restaurant?

submitted for Magpie Tales 87

and One Single Impression, Prompt 190, Paper

The Story of Lorelei Lolita Liscoe

Just before stepping out

on her big date, Lorelei Lolita Liscoe discovered

the perfect combination of

pills

pot

powders and

potables

to make her feel

just right.

The only problem she couldn't tweak away

was an annoying

pink mouse

in her peripheral vision

that wagged its finger at her

as if she were a naughty toddler who

stole a cookie.

She decided she could live

with this minor side-effect.

However

in her haste to apply make-up and perfume

for her big date

Lorelei Lolita Liscoe forgot

to write down the recipe for her potion.

This truly presented a predicament for

the date went smashingly

and a second was planned

for the following Friday.

Lorelei Lolita Liscoe was not a woman

to panic.

She had earned her Girl Scout Gold Award

with badges in

cooking

chemistry and

herbaceous healing.

She would duplicate the formula

before her next date.

Attempt number one was not

so great:

uncontrollable sneezing

intermittent aphasia

alopecia

earlobe dysplasia.

Try number two

would not do:

crying jags and

halitosis

itchy elbows

madarosis.

Finally

on her third try

Lorelei Lolita Liscoe believed 

she had her nostrum
replicated.

This pleased her for several reasons:

1. Her date was that night

2. She was beginning to worry she wouldn't feel just right ever again

3. Her intake of pills, pot, powders, and potables that week had exceeded anything she had ever previously experienced and

4. She was starting to feel a tad strange.

Just before stepping out

on her second big date, Lorelei Lolita Liscoe downed
her elixir.

In her peripheral vision was
an annoying

pink mouse

lying in a bed made from

hair and eyelashes. It was

wagging its finger.

The Liscoe family decided to hold

an open casket funeral, saying

she seemed so lovely and so peaceful.

The mourners at the viewing of
Lorelei Lolita Liscoe all agreed that
she looked

just right.

submitted for Poetry Jam, Drug Induced