Planting Rosemary

She spent years trying to forget
Looking for a place to bury the feelings
she didn't believe she should have
She didn't understand
why the ghosts kept haunting her

She tried to fill the empty space
with slogans
with battles
with righteousness
She didn't understand
why it grew larger
with every effort

She wasn't entitled to tears
Her loss was her doing
She didn't understand
how she could miss something
she never wanted

She didn't understand
why she dreamed
of counting fingers and toes
and woke with her heart pounding
in her aching chest

She didn't understand
why she felt compelled to apologize
or to whom
when she felt no regret

She didn't understand
why certain dates made her sad
and why her sadness
made her angry

She didn't understand
why she felt she had to scream
with her ears covered
so she didn't hear her own screaming

She didn't understand
that black and white
don't always make grey
There are hues that words can't describe
and that most eyes
can't see

And if she didn't understand,
how could anyone else?


submitted for Imaginary Garden With Real Toads, Fireblossom Friday, Loss
and for d'Verse Poets Pub, Listen To This: Anaphora