Mrs. Murphy's House of Heads

photo by lolamouse (Cargo in Portland, OR)

The advert in the paper read

"Mrs. Murphy's House of Heads"

I found it down a dead end street

A small house, completely discreet

except the window sign that said

"Mrs. Murphy's House of Heads."

I went inside to have a look

and in each cranny and each nook

was tucked a head, some big, some small

I couldn't even count them all!

Some heads were happy; some were sad

Here was a lass and there a lad

Some heads were ugly; some were fair

Some heads were bald and some had hair.

Each head upon its neck did sit

I found it creepy, just a bit

But I had come to buy a spare

It's said I lose mine on a tear

I wondered what a head would cost

and how the ones in here were lost!

I stood there staring, lost in thought

when someone asked me what I sought

Twas Mrs. Murphy, her fine self

arranging heads upon a shelf

"How can I help you?" she asked me

"I need a head you'll guarantee

will stay attached should I get mad

much better than the ones I've had."

"Come right this way, I think I know

a head that will fit you just so!"

She lead me to a little room

all full of heads that I assume

were packed with thought, with smarts, with wit

the choicest heads that would befit

a person of my pedigree

but which one would she choose for me?

"The head you have right now's first rate,

but if you want to trade it - GREAT!"

"But I want an extra head

I want to keep mine too," I pled

She said, "That's fine, no need to beg,

I'll let you  pay with your left leg."

"No way! I want to keep the pair!"

"I hardly think that that seems fair!"

she said to me with great alarm

"But I suppose I'll take an arm."

I spoke, "You know, I've changed my mind."

I thanked her but at last declined

It costs too much to get a head

I'll keep just what I have instead! 

submitted for Imaginary Garden With Real Toads, Poems in April, Whozits and Whatzits Galore