looking fresh and sweet
Upturned the earth right where you stood
Plucked you off your feet
He fed you lies like water
and he was the air you breathed
Didn’t treat you like he oughtta
Cut you off below the knees
He swore that you were pretty
so you thought it was okay
Girl, it's such a pity
You’re a bloom in his bouquet
You’re addicted to his gentleness
You love it when he’s rough
The sky is bluer when you kiss
You just can’t get enough
But you can’t see you’re dying
There is less of you each day
Better heed what I’m implying
You’re a bloom in his bouquet
Now you’re bound to his deceptions
Too late for seeds of doubt
You pay for self-deception
Your bright petals are plucked out
You cannot stem the withering
Your color fades away
It’s past time for considering
You’re a bloom in his bouquet.
submitted for Imaginary Garden With Real Toads, Friday Music Prompt with Marian, Dessa "Alibi"
submitted for Imaginary Garden With Real Toads, Friday Music Prompt with Marian, Dessa "Alibi"
12 comments:
These pictures are amazing, LM! And your song is brilliant. Who wouldn't want to sing along to these lines:
He fed you lies like water
and he was the air you breathed
Didn’t treat you like he oughtta
Cut you off below the knees...?
You nailed this challenge.
gosh, i really want to hear you sing or speak this!! it's fantastic.
this verse in particular, i love:
"But you can’t see you’re dying
There is less of you each day
Better heed what I’m implying
You’re a bloom in his bouquet"
yes!
Yeah, you did!! You rocked this!
I love this:
"You’re addicted to his gentleness
You love it when he’s rough
The sky is bluer when you kiss
You just can’t get enough"
the kiss and just...I love how they play!
Images are amazing here...perfect fit!
nice..this has a really cool rhythm...and great phrasing too...looks like your poem has been quoted back to you already so i will abstain...smiles...def one i would not mind hearing to see if your attitude matched the one i read it with...ha...
Wonderful poem--so sad a story. The pictures go with the poem so well--in kind of a creepy way actually. LOL No, I do like the pictures.
"You cannot stem the withering"...super poem, Ms Mouse, love the double entendre above.
K
A love song as in an open your eyes song seems totally right for this prompt. I've listened to a few of her songs today and like how you've matched the non-compromising strength of her vision with your own.
You are so good! I'm loving your work. I'm finding more and more that the more I rhyme, the better control I have over my poems. They tend to get away from me and go a little more than crazy. ;)
Beautiful photos..."you're a bloom in his bouquet...fed you lies like water" Damn that happens too often.
Always so beautiful to visit you in the early morning.
*bloom in his bouquet*
Brilliant!
*hugs*
Mimi
I can so see that becoming a hit.
very sad and lovely, dear.
Thank you.
I'm in AWE!! This is first rate all the way.
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