As sad as old age and growing old can be, you've captured the beauty of this lady so well. 'vellum skin' 'porcelain bones' 'hair like sugar spun' -- so poetic! :)
Whoosh!! This is just amazing work, LM. As a sonnet, it is impeccable, as poetry remarkable and as a response to the prompt: top drawer.
Each quatrain is perfection in and of itself, and the progression of ideas from one to the next builds to that amazing couplet climax. What a brilliant portrait of old age.
Oh yes indeed. Hell is empty because they're all here. This is so touching. She is so aware of who and what she is and it seems is content with departing this life too. So delicately written yet so vivid in pictures too. Lovely.
26 comments:
Damn, this is good.
dang....tight way to reframe that quote....this one hits...
OH, ain't it the truth!
This is so captivating!
You've captured the mood and feeling of hell here! Well done. Reminds me of someone dying from emphysema.
Sad and powerful! I believe that all the devils are here...
Oh, I love this. "The gloaming hovers" ...gotta love a mouse who uses the word gloaming. And the "vellum skin" ...perfect, Miss Mouse, perfect.
K
As sad as old age and growing old can be, you've captured the beauty of this lady so well. 'vellum skin' 'porcelain bones' 'hair like sugar spun' -- so poetic! :)
This is indeed a strong mood piece, a frightening image of how the end could be.
Wow! This is great!! I love it from beginning to the end...you did well to capture the feeling of the bard.
my out loud response at the ending was "ooooh hoo hoo!"
LOVE this, Miss Mouse!!!
thanks for jamming with us at Poetry Jam!
♥
dani
Whoosh!! This is just amazing work, LM. As a sonnet, it is impeccable, as poetry remarkable and as a response to the prompt: top drawer.
Each quatrain is perfection in and of itself, and the progression of ideas from one to the next builds to that amazing couplet climax. What a brilliant portrait of old age.
Whew what lines you have selected. I admire that she calls for Death and knows no fear ~ Nice one ~
Whew, that packs a major punch. I truly can understand someone saying "Hell is empty and all the devils are here" under that circumstance!
Oh yes indeed. Hell is empty because they're all here.
This is so touching. She is so aware of who and what she is and it seems is content with departing this life too. So delicately written yet so vivid in pictures too.
Lovely.
<3...the pains of old age vividly captured here.
That reminds me of a song by Elvis Costello. Called "Veronica". Give it a listen.
Mouse, you captured the emotions, the rawness of aging ~ mind clear, body failing ~ in the process .. composing an awesome poem.
What a spectacular write! Loved it!
Wow Lolamouse this is brilliant!
I am in awe of every line...
I must read it again...
Powerful and so fits the quote!
Love this one!
Love this one!
Tell it, LM--great quote, and a somber but lovely poem to match it.
A well-painted portrait. The last line is a killer!
Quite the potent ending after lulling me gently with your word painting
A sweet poem that picks up spunk in the end. :)
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