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Poetry is just the evidence of life. If your life is burning well, poetry is just the ash. Leonard Cohen

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Happy Bad Poetry Day!

image source
Happy National Bad Poetry Day!!!
(scroll down for my poem)
For those of you who are not aware, August 18 has been designated National Bad Poetry Day. It is a day to think about everything you've learned about good poetry and do the complete opposite! It's a day to proudly produce your worst crap.

With this in mind, I've reprinted what has been identified as the "worst" poem in Houston this year. It was produced in response to a single line prompt:  "Once upon a time, a bird flew to the top of a tree"
The challenge was take the prompt and write the "worst" bad poem. Here is the winner:
(not my poem yet, keep scrolling...)
The Nightingale and the Other Bird
Once upon a time, a bird flew to the top of a tree
It saw a caterpillar on bended knee
Which was odd for caterpillars don't have knees you see
Slurppppppp...breakfast, says the bird with mouth full
Then a nightingale began serenading the satiated bird with her siren song
"You'll be dinner before much long"
Her etiquette was quite alarming as having given away her plans
She pulled off her mask, twittering "Ah HA"and mumbling curses about the high cost of living,
Eating mangoes, dancing tangoes, pelting passersby when ornery
they answered her with raised fists and twisted lips,
sour feelings growing in their tiny, hard hearts as sour and hard as taffy that's not so laughy
Yes, twas th bst uf tymes and th werst uf tymes, with in you and without ryhmes.

I challenge you darlings to take the prompt and do the same. I will also attempt my own bad poem. Please post your bad poems either in my Comments section or, if you have no shame like me, you may post them in your own blog and provide a link.  Extra points for bad spelling and grammar, pomposity, and adolescent humor.
(here it is! you may regret this...)
My Own Poetic Dreck
Once upon a time, a bird flew to the top of a tree
I gazed up at the bird; he gazed down at me
Oh little bird! How I wish I could fly!
But alas! I cannot! Why, God? Why?
My heart felt as heavy as the heaviest thing
But then that bird began to sing
It's song was like syrup to my ear (s)
The sweetest song I could ever here
He said to fly you don't need a wing
Like Spongebob said "Imagination" is king!
The words I heard from the bird assured me so
much that I didn't want to let him go
So I caught that bird in a great big net
Now he's always with me in a cage as my pet.
image source

13 comments:

Brian Miller said...

haha...whats so bad about that one...smiles. i find it rather fun...guess i am in luck today being bad poetry day and all...

Bryan M. White said...

Once upon a time, a bird flew to the top of a tree.
Then I think it took a crap on me.
Then I grabbed a hose to wash it off.
Then I had to...ummm, cough?
So it was about that time that I noticed the sunset.
It was just a pretty as a...funlet?
Like a big giant bowl of Eskimo hair,
this poem is seriously going no where.

Fireblossom said...

Once upon a time, a bird flew to the top of a tree

"Dost thou, birde, fly-est up it thee?

Or, anon, be blown to smithereens

by a passing platoon

of U.S. Marines?"

These are questions, deservedly asked

Of poets with wine flagons,

And therapists and jackwagons!"

(from "Lo, The High Tempest Flies!" by Rowena Robespierre-Rumpole)

laurie kolp said...

Once upon a time, a bird flew to the top of a tree
Little did I know he was looking down on me
Waiting for the moment when
a droppling would spin
me around like this.
Shit!

darev2005 said...

Wow! Wheeeee! I haven't laughed that hard this early in the morning in a long time! You all rock!!!

Pat Tillett said...

See? Even when you are bad you're good! That was fun...

Kerry O'Connor said...

I laughed out loud at the Why God Why? But by the end, I thought there is a definite message here. A wonderful satirical piece.

shawnacymariekiker said...

you had me at ear (s) :)... well, and then again at spongebob.

Jinksy said...

Can't believe I managed to miss a gift like Bad Poets Day! Still, better late than never - I've made up for it this morning, for sure! LOL

jabblog said...

This sounds authentic and rather child-like.

Kay L. Davies said...

I just love this line with the spelling mistake, it makes it truly, truly bad, so bad it is good.
"sweetest song I could ever here" LOL
— K

Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel

Doctor FTSE said...

But Brian . . the "oh-so-serious-aren't-i-a-wonderful-poet" poets think that fun poetry is "bad" just because it's fun. On that definition, this is superb "bad" poetry.

Peter Goulding said...

Any poem that incorporates Spongebob has my vote