Welcome

Welcome.

To prove you’re not a robot, type the following

sequence of letters and numbers

I’m sorry

That was incorrect

Do you wish to try again?

I’m sorry

That is not allowed

We will require a more secure method

To authenticate your humanness

Please hold your wrist over the scanner

Thank you

Hello Jane!

We notice that you have ingested

Twice the recommended amount of sodium within the past 24 hours

Do you wish to drink some water?

Perhaps a salad

made with bacteria-free, radiated, chlorinated escarole?

(with reduced fat dressing, of course)

Please choose one of the following options:

Yes, please! / Later, please!

We notice that your blood pressure is a little high, Jane

Have you been taking your government approved, doctor prescribed pills?

Warning:

Failure to comply with government approved, doctor prescribed health regimens

May result in tax penalties or

other appropriate sanctions

Remember, Jane,

Good citizens do not neglect their health

Compliance is contagious-Spread the Word!

Based on your recent internet activity

and the monitoring of your monthly purchases,

Here is something in which you may be interested:

Authenivits!

New Authenivits combine a government approved multi-vitamin

with a small, easy-to-swallow personal recognition device

in one yummy tasting capsule!

No more struggling to remember your personal identification number

It’s a healthy part of you!

You’ll never feel lost with Authenivits 

because we can always find you!

(Now available in tasty gummies!)

Do you wish to exit now?

Please choose one of the following options:

Yes, I wish to exit now / No, I wish to remain

I’m sorry

You have not yet completed the mandated face hours

with your computer for today

Please remain online

and one of our friendly operators will be with your shortly

to assist you…

submitted for Imaginary Garden With Real Toads, Sharkey's Day (Laurie Anderson inspired poems)

Digital tats and authentification pills are not just the stuff of my warped imagination. Frighteningly, Motorola is working on these very devices. Check out this interview here. Scary.