This room is
where you name stuffed animals
This room is
where you try on Mom’s lipstick
This room is
where you have first kisses
This room is
where you dream of the future
while your first love fucks your best friend.
*
Poetry is just the evidence of life. If your life is burning well, poetry is just the ash. Leonard Cohen
22 comments:
!! Sounds like that toad will never become a prince. Wow!
Young girls' rooms are so integral to there personalities and 'growing up'. You show that the world outside the safety of that room may be cold and harsh.
Ouch! The end was unexpected! But I love the atmosphere you created of a room, a private sanctuary, a place for dreaming and hoping and aspiring. So what if not all dreams come true. The ones worth being fulfilled, do.
'Come now ... must you be a Debbie Downer' (she asks, giggling her head off?)
Not a friend for long, I wouldn't guess. I'd be swiping stuff out her purse while she was distracted, just because.
Loved how this caught me off guard- but what of the title? Is the narrator the title character? Warm and comforting, and bracing and sharp.
Oh, you know I love this!
Mosk-
The title is supposed to suggest a real estate agent showing the rooms of a house to prospective buyers as well as the narrator being the "agent" of the story. Glad you liked it!
oh damn....that last line is a frickin zinger....
and that room is where both their bodies are cooling...
LOL! That last line blew me away. So unexpected. Well done!
What a wrenching twist at the end! Just as I was lulled into your house! Good job!!
Whoa! Ouch! Great impact with that last line. Way to break through the schmaltz!
Ouch damn horny toads...they will never get the princess-only the pea-smashed on their face! lol
Damn...
It was such a sweet poem, and then that last line really turns it into reality kicking me in the butt. Nice twist.
Ouch! Girls rooms are thankfully for the most part their safe haven but life has a way of redecorating with reality.
ohno, too sad, I wasn't expecting that.
Love the twist at the end. Took me by surprise. :)
I love all these sweet firsts and even the bitter-sweet of another sort of first. Great job...so much said in so little!
Whew, I was all ready for light and cute! Last line blew my socks off. Good job
Whew, I was all ready for light and cute! Last line blew my socks off. Good job
all the first moments
zing.
Wow! Talk about putting the hammer down. What an ending.
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