Tea With My Mother

Happy Earth Day!!!

I sat down with Mother Nature for a cup of tea

I could tell she was livid by the way she banged her spoon
against the china cup

“I’ve had it up to here!” she bellowed

and indicated the top of Mt. Everest

I asked her what was wrong;

It was a long tea

“I work my fingers to the bone, and no one appreciates it! I give them clean air, clean water, a nice place to live, good food, and they just ruin it!”

I thought it best not to interrupt her, so I kept quiet

She continued, “They throw their trash everywhere! The rivers, the streams, the land-they don’t care. They dirty my beautiful air with toxic smoke! They leave their used chemicals just anywhere! Do you know I found fertilizer in the Chesapeake Bay?!! It was a disgrace!”

I tried to empathize, “It’s tough being a mom. You get taken for granted.”

Mother Nature slammed her cup down on the saucer, spraying the tablecloth with cold tea

“Damn right!” she agreed.

“They think I have nothing better to do than to clean up after them and fix their broken Earth. I need a break! I can’t even remember the last time I got to sit down and watch my shows.”

“Well,” I suggested, “there’s always Earth Day.”

This was a mistake

“Ha! What a joke! Sure, I get ‘Happy Earth Day!’ cards, but does anyone really do anything meaningful? No, they don’t! Granted, a few of them go out and pick up some trash from the roads or vow to live a ‘greener’ life, but what happens the next day? Right back to belching fumes from their big, old cars and tossing out their plastic bottles because they’re too busy to recycle. “

I mumbled a lame, “I’m sorry,” and asked if she wanted more tea.

“Please,” she replied, “only make it green tea. I don’t need the caffeine.”

I poured her tea, and she began to muse

“I should just disappear for a while and leave them to their own devices. It wouldn’t take long for them to realize all that I do around here! Within a week, they’d be swimming in their own filth and crying for their Mother.”

“I’d miss you,” I told her. “Please don’t go. There are a few of us who understand all that you do, and maybe someday the rest will too. Besides, whom else would I have tea with?”

Mother Nature looked thoughtful. She finished her tea and set the cup down

“I guess I’ll stick around for a while longer,” she concluded. “But, so help me goddess, if things get much worse, I’m outta here!”