Poetry is just the evidence of life. If your life is burning well, poetry is just the ash. Leonard Cohen

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Beebo, The Angry Clown

Photo by Huub Keulers

Beebo was an angry clown
Life had not been kind to Beebo-
His father was an alcoholic
His mother, neglectful
Neither of them showed the slightest parental pride when
Beebo was named “Class Clown.”

“Sophie Bloom’s daughter was valedictorian,” his mother carped
His father complained, “Don Reynold’s kid at least got ‘Hardest Worker.’
What do we get? Class Clown.”
“We’re not laughing,” they said.
 They just didn’t recognize Beebo’s talent
Or see his potential.

Nonetheless, Beebo enrolled in clown college
He passed face painting with flying colors
And juggled like gravity didn’t exist
But ballooning was a disaster!
Beebo could not manipulate those damn balloons-
He felt like a gorilla trying to sculpt the David.
At a 5 year-old‘s party
Beebo constructed 2-legged dogs that made the children weep
And presented the birthday girl with a balloon tiara
Topped with what resembled an erect phallus
He was promptly expelled from clown college.

Beebo again felt misunderstood and rejected
He was without diploma, without job, without money
He was an angry clown.

There is nothing scarier than an angry clown
Except possibly an angry clown with a gun
This was the position in which Beebo found himself
As he strode into the First Community Bank
With a gun, a red nose, and oversized shoes.

He pointed his gun at a young teller
Who immediately burst into raucous laughter
Beebo became even angrier
He aimed the gun just above the teller’s head
To fire a warning shot
It was more like a warning ‘pop’
As a small white flag flapped from the gun’s muzzle
With the word ‘BANG’ written upon it.

The entire bank was in an hilarious uproar now
Beebo didn’t know whether to feel honored or humiliated
He chose honored
Beebo gave a contrived clumsy bow
And left the bank as the people applauded
Beebo was still a misunderstood
But not quite as angry.


Mama Zen said...

This. Is. Awesome! The erect phallus at the kid party had me rolling.

Brian Miller said...

ha. if ya gotta go...go with a smile...

wonder how many misunderstood clowns there are out there...with no flags on their guns...

Kay L. Davies said...

I love the ending, Lolamouse. Gave me a much better feeling for Beebo's future.
Both of my brothers were class clowns. The one next to me in age was the first kid to get the strap in Miss Harvey's grade 1 class, after 40 years of teaching.
Then the young one (many years later) almost got kicked out of grade 1. The teacher explained to Mom that he finished his work first, then made everyone laugh so much they couldn't get their work done.
So I can relate to Beebo.

Peggy said...

I like this story! Good for the clown!

Mynx said...

I am glad the future looked brighter for Beebo.

And really glad that he hadn't tried it with a real gun.

Fireblossom said...

I'm rolling.

Kerry O'Connor said...

Perhaps it says something about me that I find this story entirely believable - even to the part where the guy considers a random act of violence against the society that shuns him. I'm glad this one had a happy ending, if not for Beebo, then for the bank's clientele.

De said...

Ha! I love this! :) thanks for the smile!


Ella said...

I am glad for the happy ending...whoa...now I might be scared of clowns!
Nah, not yet...
Well done Lolamouse :D

Anonymous said...

Lola, as skeeved out as I am of clowns, I have to say, this made me laugh almost too hard! Poor guy could NOT catch a break. Flunking out of clown school is like failing the Greeting Training at WalMart. Loved the balloon hat shaped like naughty bits! This sounds like something you could read in The Onion, if you're familiar with that paper, all fake stories presented as real. God, the gun. Oh, save me!! Amy

Helena said...

What an imagination you have Lola! The ending was simply magnificent!