Calm, composed
Shall I look deeper?
Injured, stabbed
Rusted, scarred
Touch the wrong place and get jabbed
The surface is safe
*
Poetry is just the evidence of life. If your life is burning well, poetry is just the ash. Leonard Cohen
19 comments:
but is safe better? far too many superficial relationships in the world...
Yes, we do always HOPE the surface is safe! I enjoyed your shadorma.
Nice form ~ As to the surface, sometimes the calm top is deceiving ~
What lies beneath indeed. I'm a safe surfacer too!
An excellent shadorma! Good one!
Oh, very very nice...I love the extended metaphor in this...very effective I love how that rusted hue stands out. Well written!
The surface is safe, but what lies within may bring harm....love the metaphor.
That's an excellent interpretation of the image! each line of your shadorma carries impact.
Ahhhh...the seedy underbelly........ ;)
You clever girl. *slow grin* Who would look at that picture and come up with this? You would.
No damage done if the surface is not scraped.... ? Nice poem for the image!
for some reason i love the phrase "get jabbed."
A deeper look, very insightful
Well done. Nicely ironic.
Lola, this is interested: We both picked the same picture with generally the same subject! I confess, I'm a "dig deep" kind of girl, always wanted to scratch beneath the veneer, but it's OK to want to play it safe, I get that. Your poem is very good!@ Peace, Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/08/26/screwed-over-again-a-shadorma/
Well Done!
I need to try this form again :D
Yours says so much~
It's amazing how you can make so few words say so much.
Deep and ironic shadorma, very well-penned.
I chose the same pic!
:)
Cool !!! Quite out of the box !!!
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