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Poetry is just the evidence of life. If your life is burning well, poetry is just the ash. Leonard Cohen

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Close Up

Calm, composed
Shall I look deeper?
Injured, stabbed
Rusted, scarred
Touch the wrong place and get jabbed
The surface is safe

19 comments:

Brian Miller said...

but is safe better? far too many superficial relationships in the world...

Mary said...

Yes, we do always HOPE the surface is safe! I enjoyed your shadorma.

Heaven said...

Nice form ~ As to the surface, sometimes the calm top is deceiving ~

Helena said...

What lies beneath indeed. I'm a safe surfacer too!

Sherry Blue Sky said...

An excellent shadorma! Good one!

Hannah said...

Oh, very very nice...I love the extended metaphor in this...very effective I love how that rusted hue stands out. Well written!

Susie Clevenger said...

The surface is safe, but what lies within may bring harm....love the metaphor.

Kerry O'Connor said...

That's an excellent interpretation of the image! each line of your shadorma carries impact.

Mimi Foxmorton said...

Ahhhh...the seedy underbelly........ ;)

Fireblossom said...

You clever girl. *slow grin* Who would look at that picture and come up with this? You would.

Margaret said...

No damage done if the surface is not scraped.... ? Nice poem for the image!

Marian said...

for some reason i love the phrase "get jabbed."

Lillian Susan Thomas said...

A deeper look, very insightful

Susan said...

Well done. Nicely ironic.

sharplittlepencil.com said...

Lola, this is interested: We both picked the same picture with generally the same subject! I confess, I'm a "dig deep" kind of girl, always wanted to scratch beneath the veneer, but it's OK to want to play it safe, I get that. Your poem is very good!@ Peace, Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/08/26/screwed-over-again-a-shadorma/

Ella said...

Well Done!
I need to try this form again :D
Yours says so much~

darev2005 said...

It's amazing how you can make so few words say so much.

Dulcina said...

Deep and ironic shadorma, very well-penned.
I chose the same pic!
:)

Green Speck said...

Cool !!! Quite out of the box !!!