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Poetry is just the evidence of life. If your life is burning well, poetry is just the ash. Leonard Cohen

Sunday, May 27, 2012

God In the Synapses

photography by Daryl Edelstein of mosaic by Isaiah Zagar
On my knees
I pray to the gods of pain
Offerings, sacrifices upon the altar
What I won't give up if they will spare me
just for this day
this trip
this event
Do they even hear my pleas?
Are they laughing?
Searching for God in the synapses
between neurons
I realize it's already too late
That familiar haze has descended
a gauze curtain over my brain
I am here yet
Not
My ghost is living my life again
Panic
I must abort abort ABORT
before...
Scents of patchouli and blueberry drift
into my consciousness
I retreat into the dark
I am a bat
I need to sleep, sleep, sleep
but the gods deny even that
They play with me like
a cat does a mouse
Infliction of pain is more satisfying
than the kill
The eye twists in its socket
while a vise tightens around the temples
A garage band has parked its amplifiers 
inside my skull
Bass and drum pounding, pounding nonstop
Head shatters
Dozens of jagged fragments
each holding its own misery
The bed has become a tilt-o-whirl
no way off
The gods won't be bribed
to stop this ride
I make one final appeal
for unconsciousness.


14 comments:

Fireblossom said...

I have never had a migraine, for which I am sincerely grateful.

Shawna said...

I really like these sections:

"before...
Scents of patchouli and blueberry drift"

"The eye twists in its socket
while a vise tightens around the temples"

rosemarymint.wordpress.com

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

I feel your pain.......

Ok I don't really feel your pain but I know you would gladly give it to me so you do not have to endure it again and if I could take it from you and give you a break I would do so..........

Grace said...

I love what you did with the picture, painful twists and amplifiers inside the skull, appealing for unconsciousness ~ Happy Sunday ~

Brian Miller said...

ugh...my head hurts just thinking about this as i read...off to look for my ice pick..

Susie Clevenger said...

I have had migraines..you have described them so well...one of my worst sent me to the emergency room and before it was over I thought I would go mad from the pain.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Oh I so feel your pain. Literally. I have had chronic head pain since 1996. Not as bad as a migraine, thankfully, or at least not very often. Love the garage band in your temples line. I used to joke that with my head banging, my neck clicking and my knee cracking, I was my own marching band. Love "the gods wont be bribed". Hang in there! And if you can write a poem this good with a migraine, you are truly amazing!

Kerry O'Connor said...

I love your title and the way you developed this unique interpretation of the art and photography.

darev2005 said...

Ow. That made me wince.

Very good.

And very bad at the same time.

hedgewitch said...

GAH! I can feel every bit of it, LM--this is just exquisite description, and lots of excellent irony makes it even more effective. I hope your head cuts you some slack--you can't ignore or minimize that kind of pain, it's too close.

Hannah said...

Wow...excruciating. Great job portraying the depth of this pain.

I really like the idea of this:

"Searching for God in the synapses
between neurons"

Nice write!

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Back to read it again, kiddo......great writing. I love the title....and the band inside your head......you describe pain from the inside out and I so relate!!!!

Mystic_Mom said...

You wrote a migraine something beautiful...wonderfully done!

haikulovesongs said...

a stunning description of the all-encompassing sensations running rampant during a migraine.

stunning writing but i'm sorry you've had to experience it!


dani
my heart's love songs