She swallowed the pills and said goodnight
It hurt too much to even cry
She closed her eyes against the light
She counted her breaths, her chest so tight
The bed, her nest, on which she'd lie
She swallowed the pills and said goodnight
Tired of fighting the noble fight
Confronting her nemesis eye to eye
She closed her eyes against the light
Blurred edges between wrong and right
It made no difference, so why try?
She swallowed the pills and said goodnight
She prayed in vain, in pain, in spite
Her body was weak, her spirit dry
She closed her eyes against the light
Her mind a blank, a board wiped white
Again another small death she'd die
She swallowed the pills and said goodnight
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| Thank you Jingle for the Perfect Poet Award for Week 37! for Week 38 I nominate http://exitsbyalice.wordpress.com/ |
7 comments:
powerful piece.
you make it perfect in rhyming and more...
Cheers.
Happy Rally.
you could visit poets participants NEw to you and explore FRESh poets to explore if you wish...
Happy Rally.
I love the way you put words together.
Weaving a tale of woe.
You leave us hanging... what was her intention.
Excellent.
the Perfect Poet Award Notice, Enjoy! Leave your acceptance link under the post after you take it, Thanks!
Happy Weekend.
I like the rhythm of your dark and melancholic story. It brings forth questions, and I want to know more; how and why did she come to this point? What happens next?
Much power and immediacy here
"She counted her breaths, her chest so tight"
and the closing ,rhyming lines
"She swallowed the pills and said goodnight
She closed her eyes against the light."
are perfect.
Roar on,Ms. Mouse!
Nice one! Sometimes pieces written in this form seem stilted, trying to force the repetitive into those that move the piece forward, but the lines you've chosen fit so well and even enhance the repetitive pressure of a migraine. Thanks for sharing!
This is a fantastic first villanelle. So sorry you suffer from migraines. That is a lot of pain.
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