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Poetry is just the evidence of life. If your life is burning well, poetry is just the ash. Leonard Cohen

Friday, April 3, 2015

Uterine Blues

Well, I woke up this mornin'
Felt something out of place
I looked in the mirror
Checked my hair and my face
I walked into the kitchen
to start off my day
when, I swear, I felt my uterus
had wandered away!

I've got a wandering womb
Oh yeah, I've got a wandering womb
And a womb that's off to wander
Well, that ain't no good
I'm thinking that my uterus
is misunderstood.

Well, I hurried to the doctor
to get me a cure
The doc, he said, don't worry
He had seen this before
What troubles you, my lady
is quite easy to see
Hysteria we call it
Now just leave it to me...

Oh no! I've got a wandering womb
Dear me, I've got a wandering womb
And a womb that's off to wander
Well, that's really sick
Gotta get my uterus back home
real quick!

Now I was really feelin' anxious
I was a mess
The doctor claimed the cure, it lay
under my dress!
He took a pair of gloves
from the top of his shelf
"No thanks," I told him quickly
"I will do it myself!"

I've got a wandering womb
Oh yeah, still got a wandering womb
And a womb that's off to wander
Ain't really a plight
'Cause now my uterus and I
are feelin' all right!

submitted (with aplogies!) for Imaginary Garden With Real Toads, FB Friday, Sing It Toads

10 comments:

Helen said...

Well ... this is one damned fine poem! Sing it Sister ~~

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

That is just lovely. I adore it. I am guessing you saw the movie Hysteria?

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Typical diagnosis for women, right? Hysteria? I grinned all the way through this! I love it.

Buddah Moskowitz said...

Very cool and hip, I can hear it coming out of Tin Pan Alley.

Enigma said...

Haha. This reminded me of the movie 'Hysteria' because that was the first time I encountered the whole idea of hysteria as a 'disease'.

Wonderfully penned. Loved it!

grapeling said...

ha! you know there is a song called "detachable penis" out there, right? your song is better

Marcoantonio Arellano said...

as for one who is uncertain of this condition because my parts are external i did find it a humorous take. and yes i did see the movie Hysteria which i found somewhat hysterical yet sad in that much of historical writ is based on patriarchal views which means that i have been unknowingly inculcated with 'half' truths.

Kerry O'Connor said...

This is sooo funny. Especially because it is all true. I guess ignorance can be bliss sometimes.

Fireblossom said...

LOL! What's unfunny is that this was a thing that was supposed to be real. I feel hysteria coming on...

Heidi said...

I saw the link to this poem on the sidebar of Buddah Moskowitz's blog and had to click. I'm so glad I did. This is hilarious!